Heavy Heart - God knows

Today has been a difficult day for me. I really don't have to give the details, just trust me when I say I have struggled all day long. It seems that whenever I have a conference schedule that the week of I have something major to happen. I think it is God's way of showing me that I have to have complete and total dependency on him. Which I believe I am aware of that, but God continues to show me over and over that I can't do what He has called of me without him. And I would not even try!!

So, today I have been at home most of the day by myself. I did go to the soup kitchen for a little while, but I had to leave. I was of no use to myself let alone anyone else. I knew in my heart if I came home I could at least find comfort. And after a good cry, and feeling sorry for myself I stood up and shook myself and realized that GOD is LARGE and in CHARGE!! Actually, someone called and my answering machine message played out loud and that's when I heard my voice saying those words too me! At first, I wanted to throw a pillow at the machine, but then I thought to myself..it doesn't matter what I am facing...GOD is LARGE and in CHARGE!! and Sista Staci you do not have to be!! Praise the LORD ~ I am not in charge!

I do not have to "fix" this....I do not have to "control" the outcome....I do not have to "understand it"!! I just have to obey what GOD calls of me!! If I do my best; GOD will do the rest!

I love JESUS with all my heart and I'm so glad that he is my friend...and while I love the Sista-hood...JESUS is a friend that sticks closer than a Sista.....and that makes me feel mo-better!!

Loving and Living To Serve,

Sista Staci :)